my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
