you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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