12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
