??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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