just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
