Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
