she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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