You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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