So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
