Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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