Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
