I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
