separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
where are my eyebrows?
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