just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
