I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
