He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize