im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
