Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
