I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
