i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
