An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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