She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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