my mouth tastes like poor choices
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
