Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
