You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
