Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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