what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
