She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
