I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
