i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
