i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
