its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We have started to decorate penises.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
