Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
