apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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