I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
meet me or not, i'm out of control
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
