Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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