So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
