Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize