Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
