Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
