You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
