Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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