What did we do last night that was yellow?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
