Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
