She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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