im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize
