Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
