i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
