We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize