CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
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