My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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