I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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