One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
