It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
