I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Im part way to drunk.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
