I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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