It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
