she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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