is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
