Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The chlamydia really affected his face.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The feeling are messing with the penis
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
