Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
